Is CrossFit the most Genuine friend you have?
Genuineness: possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.
People are complicated beings to say the least. Everyday that we wake up it is a miracle if you really think about it. 200,000,000,000,000.0 to 1 is the odds of us actually being born. Look it up it’s the truth and it should blow your mind. 200 trillion to 1 was the odds our Mom and Dad got together at the right time in the world and made us. AND WE STILL COMPLAIN. That would be the equivalent of hitting the lottery 5 times in your lifetime.
I think naturally people are good and they want to be good to other people. You see genuineness is a one of my core principles, and I believe those with good intentions share this principle. We need to be authentic to others even if it might not be what they want to hear. So many times we tell people what they want to hear or pass the blame on someone else. Carl Rogers (1902-1987)” for a person to “grow”, they need an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy” (being listened to and understood). I think in a lot of ways we see this now more than ever in 2017 with social media. We have a constant yearning to be accepted by our peers and to try to portray a great life. Unfortunately in that process we compromise our own beliefs to the point we don’t even know what we believe anymore or what our personal idea of a great life is anymore than our next status update. We defend an argument or a point of view so much that we don’t even listen to the other side. If we surround ourselves with genuine people that display acceptance and empathy we don’t have to worry about saying what’s status quo we can say what’s on our minds and what we believe as long as the intention is genuine not hurtful. So in my opinion the reason we don’t “grow” (as Rogers put it) from constructive conversations is because genuineness for the other side is dead in a bunch of people.
When we break down genuineness and the characteristics of people that possess it you will see some commonalities. I am a firm believer in the statement “you are a collection of the 5 people you hang out with the most.” At a certain point we need to audit our friends, our family, and co workers and see if they like us or want something from us because there is a big difference. I believe everyone likes themselves the best and that is not necessarily a bad thing in fact you should like yourself a lot! 🙂 There is a line of self esteem and confidence bordering on arrogance. But we need to toe that line from time to time. We just need to remind ourselves we are not perfect and that is okay. Another quality genuine people possess is to be able to take critical feedback and respond in a positive way. This is huge and many people when being told what they did was a mistake, FOLD. ( I personally struggle with this) Honesty is something genuine people just are and when you ask them their views they tell you regardless if you agree or not. Gratitude is a big one as well, waking up and having an appreciation for life. So many people take this life for granted and choose to focus on all the bad things that happen to them instead of the good. Being happy and smiling is a strong trait of genuine people as well, it usually means they don’t take themselves too seriously.
CrossFit for me is always genuine. It tells me exactly where I am at with my fitness in that moment. Every time that I don’t like the answer the workout is telling me that day, I have to do something about it. Sometimes it genuinely hurts my feelings and fitness at the same time. ( what a good friend) If I take a week off and eat like a teenager then I genuinely deserve the consequences. But in the moment that I am making the wrong decisions the people around me might be telling me what I want to hear. “You deserve to have 6 beers it’s been a long week.” You can bet your top dollar when Monday rolls around and I sign into class and start the warm up CrossFit will remind me/you why it was not copacetic to have all that fried food and beer over the weekend. I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer but you have ONE LIFE and if you decide to be a weekend warrior every weekend stop expecting to see life changing results in the gym. You are not being genuine to yourself or the people you are enabling around you. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones and start your own path it’s not too late. By all means enjoy life but don’t enjoy it on the couch, enjoy it at the top of a mountain. Because anyone can sit on a couch not everyone can train and climb a mountain. (metaphorically and literally) You would be so surprise if you just start with small discipline steps how big of a result they could really have on your life. That might look like, just listening to people more instead of waiting to talk. Or maybe focusing on the positive qualities of a co worker instead of magnifying the negative ones. Lent starts tomorrow what will you give up anything difficult or will it just be something that doesn’t genuinely push you to improve your life?
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